With all the demands and tantrums, parenting young kids during lockdown can be incredibly testing. To help your kids to feel more positive, focus on the good stuff in their lives and feel grateful – try this…
At the beginning of lockdown, I was feeling really negative.
I was worried about my sons, who’ve both had respiratory issues.
And my daughter, who loves socialising and suddenly couldn’t see her friends.
I was worried about myself. My business. Finances. My family, friends, strangers, the NHS.
There was a lot of worrying and panic and stress circulating.
And I realised I need to change my mindset, because the worry wasn’t doing me any good.
So I started listening to lots of positive thinking podcasts.
Life coach Jennifer Bailey’s ‘Love your life and the law of attraction’
Oprah Winfrey’s ‘Super Soul conversations’.
I was reading Brene Brown.
And I came across this quote on Jennifer Bailey’s podcast:
“Worrying is using your imagination to create something you don’t want.”
So I started to focus more on what I do want.
We wanted to continue growing the business.
So we got to work on a new online course – ‘How to sell more spaces on your online course’ – and when sales opened?
Lots of people signed up.
It felt amazing.
It didn’t just happen; we worked for it. But if we hadn’t believed it was possible, we wouldn’t have created the course in the first place.
The more I’ve listened to these ideas on focusing on what you do want, the happier and more fulfilled I’ve felt.
I stopped drinking alcohol.
I started writing a list of things I’m grateful for each evening before bed.
(Which by the way, I’d always heard other people talk about doing and thought: yeah, not really for me).
Each morning, I list the things that make me happy.
As Oprah says on her podcast: actually writing it down, not just saying it in your head, means you then spend your day looking for things to be grateful for.
Jennifer Bailey says this too.
And Sheryl Sandberg.
I also started asking my kids, each day at dinner, what the best part of their day has been.
Also the worst, because I think there’s still space for venting, especially with children.
At first, my son would say:
Best part: watching TV.
Worst part: turning the TV off.
And then one afternoon, while we were out scooting in the sunshine, he said:
“Mummy, this is the best part of my day.”
He felt good. He was enjoying himself. He was aware of this, and wanted to focus on it.
He’s only three.
It made it so clear to me that when we look for the good, we find it so easily.
Food tastes better to me now.
Sunshine feels amazing on my skin.
My daily ritual of drinking chai brings me so much pleasure.
And every time I feel negative thoughts slip in – blame, judgement, criticism – I try to flip it into a positive.
I twist the thought from “why doesn’t he do x and y,” to: “I want more x and y in my life”.
If you think about it: focusing on the negative, the bad stuff, doesn’t solve it.
Focusing on bringing more of what you want into your life is much more likely to result in solutions.