The Truth About Motherhood: Suzy Ashworth, The Calm Birth School

Suzy Ashorth, founder of The Calm Birth School

“Becoming parents put an end to high drama rows with my husband. The biggest improvement has been our communication, the biggest negative has been our love life.” Suzy Ashworth, founder of The Calm Birth School, on motherhood…

Suzy Ashworth, 38, lives in Whitstable with her husband and their three children: Caesar, five, Coco, three, and Aluna, five months old. She is founder of The Calm Birth School – a hypnobirthing empire.

“I knew I would have a family, but I didn’t give it a second thought until I married my husband. Six months after deciding we were ready, we were fortunate enough to fall pregnant. The first birth was fucking magnificent. I had completed A LOT of research, so I felt calm and confident enough to go for a homebirth first time around.

The early days with my firstborn were a mix of wonder, overwhelm and fear. I just wanted to know that I could keep him alive. It was totally knackering. At about 14 weeks, Caesar started to sleep through the night – yes, he was an angel baby, many of my friends hated me. On a good night’s sleep we can do anything, right?

Coco also slept from around 16 weeks in, but was probably more of a text book baby, which means even though she wasn’t a nightmare, life felt harder in comparison to when we had Caesar. Aluna, who is an absolute joy, is all over the show, because we can’t put her down, we can’t bear to hear her cry. She loves a snuggle in our bed, so at five months in we’re still not getting a good night’s sleep! But, she’s the last one and she does give a great snuggle.

After having Caesar, I returned to work after maternity leave and was pregnant again within three months. I worked in the commercial department of the Guardian newspaper. Although I was pregnant soon after my arrival I threw myself into work as soon as I started back and within a couple of months had been promoted. I loved my job, but my focus and priorities changed after having a baby and after my second, it felt completely right to start my own thing instead of going back to the 9 – 5pm.

Becoming parents put an end to high drama rows with my husband. The biggest improvement has been our communication, the biggest negative has been our love life. Three kids in, it’s definitely on the New Year’s resolution list. More lurve making please.

It’s difficult to sum up motherhood in a sentence, but I’ll try. Being a mother is simultaneously my biggest head fuck and inspiration… no, I can’t do it.

The most surprising thing about parenting, so far, is just how much I love and adore these beautiful human beings. Before embarking on parenthood, I wish I’d been told that I would want to be able to see my own mum every day to kiss, thank and hug her for being such an awesome human being and of course mother to me. Parenthood is hard and we all deserve medals.

If I could go back in time, I’d change how much I lose my shit at my kids when I’m trying to multi-task and failing or just not being in the moment. So my advice to expectant parents is: leave your phone upstairs as much as you can.

The greatest challenge, as as mother, is balancing being me as a woman and an individual with being the person I want to be as a mother. But what makes it all worthwhile is watching my babies learn, grow and become their own people.”