“Having a baby puts a strain initially on every relationship… life changes so drastically and immediately that relationships can end up low on the priority list,” says full time mum and blogger Amethyst Vazquez…
Amethyst Vazquez, 25, is a full time mum to her 13-month-old daughter and blogs at One Sage Mama. She lives in New York.
“I always wanted to be a mother but I didn’t plan on getting pregnant when I did – it happened unexpectedly. The birth was quite pleasant, although everything that I wanted went awry. I didn’t want an epidural but a few hours after my waters broke I couldn’t take the contractions. I got the epidural and it was the best decision I could’ve made. I also never intended on getting a c-section but after pushing for two hours I went into the operating theatre happily.
I found breastfeeding really difficult initially. Marathon feeds and a tiny little mouth made my nipples crack and bleed. It was too painful to latch her until they healed so I exclusively pumped for almost two weeks. That was torture.
I’m very grateful to have been able to keep my supply up and have a baby that didn’t get nipple confusion. After healing I used a nipple shield for a few more weeks and eventually was able to latch her without pain. We’re going 13 months strong!
Besides the breastfeeding everything went great. My daughter was very fuss free most of the time. Keeping her in the carrier most of the day helped with that. I am a stay-at-home mom, working on becoming a work-at-home mom. I know my time management will be the toughest to manage.
I think having a baby puts a strain initially on every relationship. It’s not easy being sleep deprived and frazzled. Having children changes life so drastically and immediately that relationships can end up low on the priority list.
Motherhood is endless love and anxiety
The most surprising thing about motherhood is how easily I’ve fallen into the role. I had zero experience with children before my daughter. I’m an only child who didn’t even get along with other children when I was a child. Somehow it’s been such a natural transition into motherhood.
But I wish I’d been told that everyone always has unsolicited advice to give. For the most part it doesn’t bother me but it’s surprising the things people feel they have to tell you sometimes. “She’s one month? By the time my kids were one month I was giving them cereal in their bottles. You should try it. She’ll sleep all night.” Thanks but no thanks.
My advice to expectant parents? Don’t overthink everything. Going with the flow is the key to being a parent. For me it started while I was in labor. I made decisions I swore I wouldn’t and I don’t regret a thing. Flexibility is everything.
It hasn’t necessarily come up yet but I can see my greatest motherhood challenge being in understanding children are children. I didn’t have a childhood with other kids and truth be told I still don’t particularly like kids. I always played a mini grown up but I can see my daughter is different. She’s more lighthearted and playful than I was. I guess remembering that she’s just a child and not always expecting adult behaviour from her will be my struggle. We shall see.
Her hugs and kisses make everything worthwhile. Just being able to be biggest part of her world right now is amazing. I’m everything to her and it’s an incredible feeling.”