Sandra Chachi Benitez has chosen to focus on transforming her body from obese to super fit rather than starting a family – and feels judged for this. She tells us how it feels to be childless and from a Latin American background…
Sandra Chachi Benitez, 33, lives in New York City with her boyfriend, Richard. She works in human resources as a payroll coordinator for a local gourmet market. Here, she tells us about her fitness journey and how it feels to be childless in her 30s…
“My fitness journey has been a long one. I always suffered with being an overweight child, and into adulthood. I always felt I needed to do something about it. I’d start the gym, then quit. I would eat foods marked ‘healthy’ on the label but would get frustrated with the lack of progress. It wasn’t until I was a few months away from my 30th birthday that I got serious and hired a personal trainer.
Throughout my journey, I realized the importance of having a partner who understands the lifestyle, and supports my goals. So it was only natural for me to choose a man who compliments that, as well as a spiritual connection, which is priority for me.
As a Latina, there’s definitely pressure to settle down and start a family. I struggled with that a bit. For me, it was important to get myself healthy and strong – spiritually and mentally – so I can be the wife and mother my family deserves. So, that took a little time. But nothing comes before it’s time.
I’ve been blessed with an amazing and supportive family. My mom has been wanting grandbabies for some time. But she’s learning that patience is a virtue.
Pressure is definitely cultural. You’re “supposed” to marry and have children young. It’s funny, I didn’t choose the career path, I chose to find myself.
Personally, I don’t think there’s a right age for women to have a family. I do feel there is too young, but I’m no one to say what’s right for each individual woman. We’re all wired differently and have different purposes to fulfil.
The best advice I can give is that do what feels right to you. No one should dictate that. Now I’m not talking about being reckless. But you can’t live your life following footsteps. Start a new path.
I am very happy with my relationship and there’s talks about the future. Children? I would love to be a mom. So, I’d say it’s on the cards. Five years from now I see myself balancing life as a wife, mom and running a successful lifestyle brand with my family.”
Are you in a similar situation – having chosen to focus on career or fitness over family? (Or something else). We’d love to hear from other childless women – whether by choice or circumstance – in the comment section below…